YES – it is not merely a three letter word.
I’d say it’s a feeling, it’s a word that holds positive sentiments. Doesn’t it make you feel elated to hear it as a response? Imagine, being able to create this happy and affirmative aura around your child with the use of this word. However, have you ever tried to think about how many times in a day you say NO to your child?
“hey, no don’t touch that”,” what are you doing”, “please don’t”.“don’t go there” “don’t walk so fast” “don’t put that in your mouth” “don’t bend” “don’t lean” “don’t go there” “don’t eat that”, “don’t mess the place”“No running”, “no going out”, “no playing”, ” no jumping”No!!! No!!! No!!!
Sounds familiar? We moms are guilty of using the word No more often than we use the empowering YES. Now let’s take a moment and put ourselves into our baby’s shoes – what if we always heard a no – from our partner, from our boss, from friends, from family members and of course, from our kids too. How would that make us feel? Aren’t we robbing our child off the happy affirmative vibe because of No?
What is the Big No doing to our kids?
The more you use the word NO the lower the self-esteem of the child gets. He will feel less confident about himself and his actions. Every time you say no, you lower the enthusiasm of your child to learn and explore his surroundings. In the due course of time, your child may just not take initiatives with the fear of being rejected. The child becomes rebellious.
‘No’ parents make ‘No’ children.
A close friend of mine complained that her daughter says a no for everything she says- whether it is to greet someone or to pick her toys from the living room. The reason is simple she has adopted what she heard since she was young. It’s you who started saying a no for everything, why blame her?
In the school where I taught, I observed that a teacher who used the word no often would desensitize her students towards the word. It didn’t hold any meaning for them.
But Why Do We Moms Use No?
Being a mom, I know it is practically impossible to say YES for all things. We use the word no because we are worried, we are apprehensive, because we care for our child’s safety and health, it’s the daunting mom in us that makes us use the word. Can we say a Yes to an ice cream if a child has a runny nose? Can we say yes to junk food? Would it be feasible to allow a child to play with sharp objects? I’d say we must disguise our No in a Yes. The trick here is to say a no without creating negative emotions.
The #YesMom Day
I was fortunate to be a part of the #YesMom day powered by ActivKids Immuno Booster by Cipla. The brand found that concern for their child’s health makes mothers overprotective and end up saying NO. That’s why they developed ActivKids Immuno Boosters, immunity supplement for children in a unique choco-bite format, to address the growing concern of low immunity by providing up to 100% RDA of key immunity nutrients. Since it doesn’t need to be mixed with milk or water and looks like a chocolate, kids will surely have it.
At #YesMom day I got an opportunity to hear perspectives and stories of Moms who experienced a major difference in their lives after switching to YES. I have been part of the overall campaign myself and I truly believe this has made me relook at the way we do Parenting.
At the event, Celebrity host and actor Mandira Bedi accompanied by her 6 year old son Vir, participated in an insightful panel discussion with Nutritionist Dr. Niti Desai, Paediatrician Dr. Deepa Bhandarkar, along with Psychologist Dr. Sapna Zarwal to discuss the importance of immunity in children, how to strengthen a child’s immune system and how that can help moms say Yes to their kids more often.
The experts shared their expertise and busted myths we Moms usually have around health and nutrition of our child. Actress Mandira Bedi said that she has always been the bad cop at home and when she switched to being a #YesMom she has seen a transition in her relationship with her son.
She said “I realized that no matter how much I try to protect him from germs and infections, it will not make much of a difference till the time his immunity is strong. Now, I focus on strengthening his immunity to make him healthy. And that has helped me in my journey of becoming a #YesMom”
I thought this was particularly helpful to moms everywhere.
There were many ideas, opinions and expert advice that I took away from this event held at ITC Maratha, Mumbai. The brand realises the power that the word Yes holds and encourages moms to take this positive approach. Here’s some of what I learned…
How Can We Become Yes Moms?
Here are some tricks that I am using in my journey to being a #YesMom:
Divert attention – if your child is banging the table or flinging things around, instead of constantly asking him not to do it divert his attention towards something else. Pick him up, take him to another place, handover toys to play with or assign him some task or responsibility.
Allow the child to experience – If your toddler insists on having a fork or knife to play with allow him to experience it under your supervision and explain why you do not want him to play with it.
Postpone the desire – This technique can work with older kids. Toddlers usually do not comprehend time. But under any circumstances avoid making false promises.
Listen to the desire attentively and discuss it creatively – No desire is unreasonable. Listen to what they want, discuss it, and ask them what their plans are. From there you can probably create a story and have a healthy conversation with your child instead of simply saying you can’t have what you want. Handling a tantrum/misbehaviour – One thing parents and teachers must avoid is humiliating the child in public. I observed a significant change in one of my students since I started talking to him privately. I would take him out of the classroom or have a moment with him alone and explain instead of saying anything in front of the entire class. So in case your child is throwing a tantrum make sure you take your child in a corner or another room and talk about what he wants. Hug him tight and tell him why the behavior is not accepted.
Let them be little but build their immunity – whether it is getting dirty in the mud, or drenched in the rains. Let them have fun. Instead of worrying he’d fall sick, work on a balanced diet and right nutrition to boost his immunity. That’s where supplements like ActivKids Immuno Booster play a role. Have faith that in case he falls sick or hurts himself he will be able to recover. They fall, they rise and that’s how they learn.
In case you have to still say a No, Reasoning is a must….Use terms like alright, very well, of course, by all means, sure, certainly, absolutely, indeed, agreed more often.
Always treat your child the way you want others to treat him. I hope you will join me in the tribe of #YesMoms