Oh hoWhen my husband and I became parents our relationship saw some hard days. We would (and still do) have arguments over petty things mostly Baby related. We both have different styles of parenting and would have to argue our perspectives.
But I am glad over a period of time the love has blossomed and we have figured out a peaceful way of making a point. Also it has been extremely emotional for me to watch the relationship between my son and his dad flourish with time. I often say that motherhood is responsible for introducing me to an other improved version of me. But parenthood has also helped me discover a lot of truths about my husband.
Here are a few of my discoveries about my husband that I made only after he became a dad. You are likely to make some of these discoveries after your hubby becomes a daddy!
1) My husband’s love for my son is tougher than mine
A mother’s love is different from a father’s love. I am soft and unconditionally loving in my behaviour towards my son. But my husband is tough and that is what makes his love tougher. He would never extend a helping hand to my son just because he toddled as he learnt to walk. He never gives him a chocolate just because he is wailing. His love is so deep that I am rest assured in my heart it is going to help my son bring out his best.
2) My husband proved that Dads can be as good as Moms at caring for the baby
Women are soft-hearted and often the primary care givers for the baby. It is often thought that dads are not as good at baby care. But I discovered how caring my husband is too when he spent his time at home with the baby. His strong hands never trembled. He cared for our little boy even better than I did.
3) He is much more patient than I thought
During our courtship, my husband often told me of one quality that he found really attractive in me. He told me that I was very patient. I, on the other hand, always thought he was short tempered and could burst out in anger at any given point. But it was only after we had a baby that I my viewpoint reversed. I think he has a lot of patience. At wee hours of the night when our baby wouldn’t stop crying and I would cry along, he had the patience to handle our boy and me at the same time. When I get frustrated, he is still cool and composed.
4) He is excellent at making plans concerning our baby
I have been in awe of my husband’s organisation skills since we had a baby. Be it a holiday he plans with the baby, or a visit to the park, he makes sure that everything is taken care of according to the baby’s convenience. This super dad knows what the baby and his mum would be comfortable with. He has an ability to foresee the possible glitches and makes arrangements well in advance.
5) He has the ability to hold himself upright in difficult situations
Since he became a dad, I absolutely admire his ability to handle difficult situations with patience and without panic. Be it a fall from the bed, or an eye infection or a wound or a cut, or a uncomfortable cry, my husband handles the situation like an adult while I become a baby with my baby. At 7 months of age, our little boy fell and cut his lip. I almost fainted at the sight of my baby’s blood. But he handled both of us and rushed us to the hospital. This is a quality I envy and want to learn myself.
Making the leap from a lovely two to the awesome three was exciting, elating, and wonderful for us. But it was also exasperating, exhausting and adventurous. A new mom is extended all the empathy, love and support from every member of the family because of the major transition she has made. But the other significant life that has witnessed the change is often forgotten – the baby’s dad. A husband becomes a dad too, and is experiencing similar emotional upheavals.
I am glad that both of us have kept our relationship strong and blossoming through all these changes involving the centre of our world, our baby.