The next two days while my body was still recovering from the surgery, I felt like I was only nursing throughout the day and night. It began to get the better off me. I looked at breastfeeding as a task and overlooked the beauty of it.
I decided I did not want it to be this way when I returned home, so I asked the doctor to prescribe formula. He flatly refused to do so and managed to convince me that the best gift I could give my son would be breast milk. I was amazed at how beneficial breastfeeding was for me and for my baby. And that’s when I was introduced to the stubborn mother within me who would go any extent to provide the best to her baby.
Here is what I learnt from my experiences:
Am I lactating enough?
My son would feed often, sometimes every 30 minutes. He also cried a lot because he was colicky. Two most common reason to confirm that he wasn’t getting enough milk.
But was that the truth?
His weight gain was better than normal perceived range and eight wet nappies a day helped me rule out the doubt that he wasn’t getting enough.
What I learnt was that Cluster feeding is very normal with infants. Babies are not born with a routine, they adapt to routines as they grow. So the feed only every two hours rule appeared baseless to me. “Supply as per the demand” is my golden mantra. So feed when your baby asks for it.
What I have learnt is that breastfeeding is a state of mind. Breastfeeding became a bliss when I stopped worrying.
Change the pattern of your thoughts, focus on wholeness and contentment, take pride in your capability to feed your baby, have faith in yourself. If there is a doubt there is help available ask for it. Why shy away from a lactation expert. Visiting a lactation expert is like going to a nutritionist for your baby.
I love the way he holds my hand and looks into my eyes while feeding. I love the way he randomly takes a break and smiles at me. I love the way he comfortably digs into my lap when he wants to be fed.
While I am on the breastfeeding journey I have learnt that breastfeeding in public is absolutely normal.
I am only feeding my hungry baby and if a pervert decides to derives some pleasure out of it than I know how to deal with it. I cannot avoid feeding my baby because someone may just steal a glance of my nipples.
The family pressure
But I have learnt to stand up for the decision I take for my baby.
I may have been looked upon as a stubborn, over possessive or sometimes even as a disrespectful woman for not listening to elders, but my decisions for my child are thought over. I felt like I was battling. For instance, I was considered insensitive for not giving water for six months. ” How hot the baby feels but has to suffer because of his insensitive mother”
At family functions and get together, I am found, finding appropriate rooms and corners to feed, while everyone wonders what ever happened to the milk powder companies in the world.
But for me its never about MY convince and comfort, it is about providing the best and not settling for the second best.
In spite of the bites that bought tears, the varied fears, the nasty sore nipples, the milk blisters, the the leaky mess, the augmented breasts, breastfeeding has been the most rewarding and inspiring experience of my life.
And I want to state her that I am going to miss breastfeeding my son. . But I don’t want to talk about it now shhhh there are still a few months to go..