“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new” ~ Rajneesh
Have you every thought about motherhood in this way?
If you are like most women, the time of pregnancy is filled with joy and excitement of the life you imagine with your baby and expanding family.
What will you put on your registry?
What colors should you choose for the baby room?
You pour through books about names, breastfeeding, the safest stroller and car for your child.
You think about what to do for child-care, whether you should go back to work, etc.
However have you ever had the thought that not only would you be birthing a new soul into the world but also re-birthing a new you?
It’s a deep inquiry that usually doesn’t find it’s self in the latest copy of “What to Expect when Expecting” but motherhood is a profound right of passage.
As a life coach and spiritual healer to New moms I can tell you that I see a lot of women that are struggling with the mixed emotions that are being triggered by motherhood. Yet they don’t feel safe to share what’s coming up for them. Partly because they don’t have a name for it or they are afraid of being judged.
I understand this as I struggled to understand my own entry to motherhood 5 years ago.
My son was born premature, 5 weeks early via emergency C-section and his dramatic entry into our world turned my life up-side down.
I expected an instant connection of unconditional love and instead I found myself so numb and shocked, not knowing if my son would be alive when he was born.
All my dreams around motherhood were shattered in an instant and instead I was delivered the biggest spiritual awakening of my life thus far.
My son’s birth ignited an inner journey that has been challenging and so miraculous. I was a “successful” woman who “had it all” but felt deeply unhappy. Now I am a woman that feels like I truly have it all because, I have come home to the real me. I feel loved, accepted and most importantly, expressed.
The mixed emotions and feelings that arise with motherhood are not just about work-life balance, it’s so much more than that.
I believe it’s not only a right of passage but for many women, the beginning of a deep soul awakening.
You may not have words to express it but I know you can feel that subtle yet strong pull within you that something has deeply changed on a core level.
You are not the same woman even though on the outside, things may look the same.
My child was an angel in the form of Goddess Kali (the destroyer) that came into the world to birth me, just as much as I birthed him.
He came to shine a big fat neon light on where I was not living in my truth. I believe this is the case for many mothers.
You may find yourself thinking about the meaning of your life and what legacy you want to leave for your children.
The emotions are an opportunity to un-layer the parts of you that are no longer in alignment and to give a voice to the parts that are dying to be heard.
Even if you did not have a traumatic birth experience like mine, let me give you some perspective of what you likely have experienced.
You go through a lot of changes when you become a mother. There is the obvious like your body, your schedule, your home, etc.
Then there are changes that maybe you did not expect: your marriage, your friendships, and your relationship with your own mother, your career ambitions.
As humans, small change can create a lot of stress and this is often times the reasons most people don’t like change.
Now imagine all the changes I just mentioned above and I didn’t even talk about the grief of your old life, deceased parents and your own unhealed childhood trauma that can come up too. All this, while being responsible for another human 24 hours a day with no sleep!
If you look at the experience of motherhood from this lens, I hope you see that whether you are enjoying every minute of motherhood or barely surviving that choosing this role is no joke. As long as you are doing your best, it’s more than enough and likely humanly possible.
At the same time, I believe a sacred part of our femininity is being called to be expressed when you chose this great honor of using your womb to bring life into the world.
In ancient times, entry into motherhood was revered and the adage “it takes a village to raise a child” was a way of living. However as time changed, our own mothers likely just survived their way through motherhood. Many have had to sacrifice their own needs and expression, with little help and support.
Our generation thankfully has an opportunity to do better. We can evolve the experience of motherhood beyond survival. Unfortunately this opportunity has been hijacked through pressure of being a supermom, “having it all,” leaving many moms feeling like they are not doing enough. Moms around the world are living in isolation plagued by the disease of comparison ignited through media, society and social outlets.
We have been led to believe that doing more and having our children in the best school, eating organic meals, riding in the latest stroller, or having the most perfectly behaved/smartest child is a sign of being a good mother.
This leaves little room to nourish your soul, no matter how much she’s crying for your attention.
I don’t believe in being a “good mommy.” I believe in being a happy mommy.
I would like to leave you with the most important thing I have learned from being a mother and serving hundreds of women through my blogs, books, podcasts, coaching and retreats:
“The best thing you can ever do for your child is to find that place of joy within. I believe this comes with living authentically in alignment with your souls truth and expression. Your personal happiness and inner peace ripples out to your children and fills them with love in a way that the best toy, or education, could never do.
I truly believe that if every woman mothered from this place, it would heal the world.
Here are 7 tangible ways to choose soul nourishment over “perfect” mommying that can go a long way:
* Try to go for a daily walk every day in nature (even if for 5 minutes) with or without baby. Studies show that a walk is a great way to move energy (like negative thoughts) that can get stagnant if not moved. Nature is a great way to connect to your intuition and get guidance and answers to questions you have been pondering.
* Choose to listen to and have uplifting music, podcasts, while you are in the house and mothering. Especially while breast-feeding. Until the age 7, our children are just sponges and the more we can do to create a positive environment the more it serves our children.
* Find a gym with childcare and take a yoga or dance class or just work out. Once again moving energy clears the mind. It is also a great way to find other like-minded moms if you are feeling isolated.
* Join an in-person or virtual mommy meet-up just for you that is focused on authentic living, soul nourishment, spirituality, real conversations, and connection with other awakening mamas. There is so much comfort and support being in community.
* Start a simple mommy meditation practice or daily ritual 1-5 minutes. You can listen to my podcast about how to here.
* Journal your emotions unfiltered while the baby is sleeping. If you are afraid of someone reading it, you can type it on the computer and put a password. This is another great way to clear the mind so you can be more present with your child.
* Find one safe person to be honest with your feelings that will listen to you without giving advice or judgment (preferably a women). If this feels impossible you can look for Facebook groups that create a safe environment. Here is one that I have created New Mama Village
* If you are ready and want to connect deeply to your soul, I would strongly suggest getting support from a coach and/or spiritual healer that has walked the path before you and offers this type of service. Living from heart and soul is not easy (especially in the beginning) but the miracles and fruits that come with living in alignment when we are consistent, supported and faithful, create a life of magic for our family and heal our lineage in immense ways.
As a gift to the women on this blog, I would like to offer a complimentary Mama Soul Nourishment sessions for the first 5 women that reach out to me.
This is a 30-minute, no strings attached session valued at ($250)
I will guide, hold space and make available my intuitive gifts, for you to receive answers from your heart and soul on any are of life. Perhaps it is your career, relationships or something for your child.
My clients have often received information they never expected that has served them in immense ways.
Please email email@example.com with the subject title My Mommy Voyage. Please provide a little about your self and times that work best for you with the time zone.
If you are not interested in a session but have a question or comment, I would love to hear from you! Please reach out to me via email, on my social media or the New Mama Village FB group.
I am sending a bounty of love to all you brave women who have chosen this beautiful role of being a Mama!
About Dr. Sweta
Once a practical, ambitious level-headed pharmacist/professor took a leap and went out of her comfort zone by following her heart to South America. She had only 1 sentence of Spanish under her belt yet discovered a feeling of deep connection, freedom and Joy under the most unexpected circumstances: no hot water, cold weather, and no roasted coffee! She didn’t know it at the time but she was on sacred land and it led her to soul-mate. Eventually married her love in the most magical of ceremonies in Cusco, Peru and full-filled her dream of becoming a mother. She birthed her son but he awakened her soul to a new life. Most women loose themselves when they become a mother but Dr. Sweta found herself. She transformed from being a martyr to an empowered mama. Today she is a writer, life coach and spiritual retreat guide that is passionate about inspiring people to Live More and Connect Deeper and supporting Mother’s on their Spiritual Awakening.
Dr. Sweta authored the book “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For: Now What? available on amazon.com as a tool for self awareness. You can find lots of support and tools for Fun Family Sacred Living on her website: www.mamalovecoaching. To follow her personal awakening journey you can visit www.drsweta.com Make sure to download her free I-tunes podcast Spirituality 101 ~ spiritual technologies to enhance Faith. She believes community is vital to the journey of awakening. If you are on a spiritual path looking for more like-minded women, join the private Facebook group New Mama Village. For a daily dose of inspiration and guidance you can follow her Facebook and Instagram.