Guest Post by Jaspreet
You know as they say failures are the pillars of success. Well, that is not entirely acceptable when we speak of mothers. A mistake by a mother is like a rain drop in a sunny climate. Not unheard of, but quite awkward. I, a mother of two little angels here accept my failures as a mother. I was blessed with motherhood at a very young and tender age of 19. I was still settling with marriage when motherhood happened. But, your babies,they steal your heart,don’t they?
They are the Apple of my eye, the thundering to my rain, sugar to my coffee. And to be honest though they are girls they are naughtier than boys. You have no idea how much fun they have at home. However, admission the fun and mischief, a few incidents with my girls feel like a puch of failure has just hit hard.
At times, (read most times) my girls just wouldn’t listen to what I have to say, my little drama queen cries her lungs out for not letting her ruin my make up kit, my older one runs around the house messing every nook and corner, the two of them gang up and lead to a new masterplan mischief, a glass of water poured on the floor here and the whole meal seated on the floor there, the older one wants to play with the same toy as the younger one, random tantrums, the stubborn cries, the rude answers, the story goes on. Let me share an incident of my elder one with you. She has a habbit of waving from the balcony to her papa ,dadu, chachu when they leave for work or return home. And, hold if you dared to not wave at her, the diva would bawl till they went back down and waved to her. What surprised me more was when this happend with a guest. He too had to go down and wave at her. Spontaneous reaction from visitors – how spoilt these girls are. Obviously the mother is responsible.
I feel like a failed mom, when my girls lie to me or keep secrets. I always wanted them to know that they can share their secrets and pour their heart out to me, however when it doesn’t happen that way it breaks my heart. Have I failed in conveying I want to be the Doreamon to them. Do they feel their secret are not safe with me? Am I doing something that makes her feel she needs to hide things from me?
My biggest failure or shortcoming as a parent is when my frustration level goes 10 notches higher. And I admit I raise my voice at my girls. I know they are kids, they don’t comprehend right and wrong, anger and distress, but the human in me gives up sometimes.
I am often told your girls are very naughty, you must have pampered them too much, you must control their behavior, your are not doing it right.
Can somebody please stand up and tell me how to do the parenting thing right. Don’t paper the kids they get spoilt, don’t be too strict they need space to grow and learn. Don’t scream at them it becomes their inner voice, don’t be too polite they will take you for granted, don’t punish its cruel, don’t let go its neglectful. Don’t give up, don’t give in, this way is incorrect, that way may be correct, but what about parenting my way. I am a stay at home mom who has willingly dedicated her life to her home and family. When I hear I am failing at this, it’s devastating.
My girls may not listen, they may be naughty, they could be stubborn, they could do things you term as ‘bad behavior’, they cry, they mess up, but they learn, They develop and they grow. I am done with being judged as a mom by others and by myself. I dislike parenting books now, the uncalled for advice is of no good. Because I now want to parent my way. Be a my kind of a perfect mother, because I know my daughters are PERFECT just the way they are.
Who Am I?
My name is Jaspreet Kaur Bhurjee. I am what the call the ‘stay-at- home’ mom. I love my kids and family. I also love chocolates and latte.