“Being a mom is a bliss”
“A woman’s life transforms after she becomes a mom”
“new mom must take care of herself”
After a couple is blessed with a baby, the mom and baby hog the limelight. But, there is someone who is often forgotten but is the hero of this tale. It is the DAD.
You don’t win brownie points for guessing that a woman’s life changes after having a baby, but what about the man?
I share with you today, the story of a boy who I witnessed alter into a man and mutate into a dad.
During pregnancy, I had my share of rough days, tantrums and mood swings. Needless to say, my husband was always there by my side. We fought, we made up. I screamt, he yelled but we laughed and danced at the end of the day. While I experienced physical and mental turmoil, I took the liberty to express my emotions without the fear of being judged during pregnancy. On the other hand, I know there existed a heap of unexpressed emotions and concerns in the dad-to-be’s heart.
Will I make a good dad? How would I cope? How can I help my partner? Will I be able to fulfil all their monetary as well as emotional needs? Will my social life end after I have a baby? Will I be able to take the responsibility? Will I be able to care for the baby? How will I get through labour? And a gazillion other thoughts haunt a dad-to-be. But I paid no heed, I was busy pampering myself and my bump.
It was after the birth of our little boy, the significance, effort and love of the other parent of my baby came to my cognizance.
While I was in the operation theatre giving birth to our baby. He stood outside, with his heart in his mouth praying for our well-being.
When I laid on the hospital bed, crying in pain he held me with one hand and our baby with the other.
He ran errands to make sure our baby and I were comfortable, we had all the medication and facilities that we needed, the exorbitant hospital bills were paid off, the numerable visitors were attended well, the sisters and nurses were supportive, he was always there to speak to the doctor and also prepare the home to welcome our baby.
After returning home, we as new parents knew little but were determined to learn. I was zoned out and could not handle the pressure of being up all night, exclusively breastfeeding and understanding baby cues. I was constantly struggling to come to terms with my new life. While I experienced baby blues, the daddy cool came to my rescue. He multitasked at handling work, baby and me. He encouraged me and helped me cope up.
He would stay up all night sometimes after having a tiresome day at work. He has always been a man no baby willingly goes to. He had to learn from scratch. He learnt how to hold a baby, how to change diapers, how to burp and rock the baby to sleep. Watching the super dad perform funnier acts than a clown is the most precious sight I see each day.
When the entire world told me I wasn’t lactating well and should formula feed our baby, he stood by my side and asked me to have faith in myself and the doctor. It’s not me who exclusively breastfed our baby, it was him who made it possible. In a society like ours, he made nursing in public comfortable for me. I know he was skeptic initially, I know the staring eyes bothered him sometimes. But he decided to stare back and prioritize us over unwanted perverts.
What I have realised is, being a dad is as much of a rollercoaster ride as being a new mom. Unfortunately, it is unrecognized.
So, lets express gratidute and extend our love to all Daddy cools.