The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, gave birth to her third boy on the morning of 23rd April, 2018. The Royalty walked out to introduce their newborn to the world and what was analysed with microscopic scrutiny and discussed over every media, group or community you can ever imagine was how she looked. She wore a dapper red dress with a white collar, sported perfect day make-up, and had every strand of her hair in place. 
As much as I understand that royalty is expected to look a certain way at all times and with absolutely no intention of judging another mom, I’d still say this does paint an unrealistic picture of how a woman “must” look after birth. And on a larger spectrum how mothers are “expected” to be.
I am not even speaking of what the first two days after childbirth looked like for me. It was three days later, when the needles and catheters were taken off and I could barely straighten my spine, that accidentally looked into a mirror. And I was horrified to say the least!
I returned home in a loose kurta, and hair that were forcefully gathered into a scrunchie. It’s soon going to be almost three long years since I first met that lady in the mirror that day. She is who I am today. She barely recognises the woman I was on the morning of June 8th’ 2015.
Not that I have lost myself, just that I have developed, evolved and grown so rapidly that I can barely remember who I was.
As we celebrate the third year of the birth of my baby and his mother, I am writing down 100 earthshaking realisations I have made in these years:
1. I need much lesser sleep to survive than I thought I’d need. Exam preparations at late night are no where close to parenthood.
2. I can control the urge to pee for much much longer than I thought. So so long that I don’t feel the need to pee anymore. Only if you are a mom you know I am not exaggerating
3. Taking decisions that look like sacrifice is easy when they are made for my baby. Not necessarily fun but they are easy
4. I love to watch my son grow at his own pace and I believe he has developed into this person which is way better than I could have ‘created’ by forcing anything on him
5. There was one last time when he crawled before he started to run, there was one last time I put on his shoes before he decided to do it himself. And the worst part is I did not know the last was the last. And I miss doing those things
6. My paediatrician is the one my beliefs are aligned with. He is my most trusted advisor
7. I like to take final decisions when it comes to my baby
8. Being able to hear all the advice and accepting that it was given in good faith, and yet letting it go is an art. An art I have mastered over three years
9. The need to master this art emerged out of a realisation that no one – my parents, friends, or that lady I met at the park, know my baby like I do
10 And so taking decisions and making choices with no room for another person’s judgement or opinion is my absolute right.
11. I was created to be a mother of this baby. That is what makes me capable of parenting him
12. Babies cry a lot
13. They cry even if they are well fed, are wearing a clean diaper and have just taken a nap
14. Rocking a crying baby too hard, swinging him, or making loud noises to calm him down aren’t the best ways to deal with a crying baby
15. Holding him upright on my shoulder with a warm hug and allowing him to let it out works for us
16. Changing a baby’s diaper is not as easy as it looks
17. A baby’s favourite time to pee and poo is that two seconds of time span between lifting a diaper out of under her bum and picking another one to place it under the baby
18 I have traded a few of my functional brain cells for my kid
19 Mom brain is a thing. Or that is what I blame for making calls and totally forgetting what I had to say, for burning more dinners than ever and putting laundry into the bin
20. Breastfeeding is painful. You could have heard otherwise, but it hurts. But the pain is short lived. There is no better feeling than getting through that pain and continuing to breastfeed. It’s wonderful on the other end
21. Breastfeeding a toddler is even tougher
22. But it has become such a part of me that I can’t stop breastfeeding even when my son is three
23. I think my breasts are magical
24. I love my body because it is capable of providing nourishment to my child
25. Stretch marks are the least of my worries
26. I have burnt more calories cleaning the house and running after a toddler than at the gym
27. I have learnt to forgive myself
28. Yes I feel like a terrible mom sometimes
29. But I love it when I am able to sleep over it and wake up feeling like I am the best my baby could have ever had
30. My husband is the best guy in the whole wide world. There is no possible way anyone is better than him
31. Dads in general are great too. Their care, Love, affection and compassion is usually underestimated
32. I love my mom, more than anyone else in this world
33. Not all babies are the same. What works for one may not work for the other at all
34. Everything is a phase, growth spurts, teething, sleep regression, continuous Toddler tantrums are all phases. Nothing lasts forever
35. There is no right or wrong way of parenting
36. The only right way for me is the one that I have faith in. I feel like a confident parent when I trust my gut
37. There are no good or bad babies either. These terms make me roll my eyes
38. To take care of my baby I need to take care of myself. Like as a necessity. Because he is counting on me
39. Taking a little time out for myself when I am sure he is safe in trusted care, helps me return as a better mom
40. Postpartum recovery can take as long as a mom needs and it’s perfectly okay. A life that lived in my body for nine long months left! And I need time to recover from that
41. I may reach my pre pregnancy weight but my body will never be the same as it was before the birth of my child. Pregnancy changes a woman’s body in many ways and making it bigger is only one of them
42. The dishes, the laundry, the mopping, the cooking can all wait
43. I can get overwhelmed with just about anything
44. It takes half the time for me to forget about what lead to making me so angry and genuinely laugh over it
45. Food makes me happy
46. It makes me happier when my baby eats it
47. I thrive on my baby’s nap time
48. But the best naps and the most memorable are the ones he took on me
49. My baby changed my world. Everything about it 50. He did it for the better
51. I was once shy of nursing in public
52. Now I don’t care who sees my boobs
53. Those baby “must-have” lists are vague. You won’t need half the things mentioned there
54. A Baby makes the house fuller in ever sense of the word. Fills it with lots of stuff, laughter, grins and joy
55. I worry a lot, most about what kind of a parent am I. Act of worrying also means I am trying my best to be a good one
56. I have never understood this patent advice of “sleep when your baby sleeps”. The idea of sleeping as soon as the baby does, weighs so heavy on my mind that I can not sleep at all. It should be altered to rest when your baby sleeps or do your own thing, binge watch your favourite TV show, read a book, listen to music, or take a walk.
57. Facebook is the last place to look for parenting advice
58. Parenting is a 24 hour thing. A parent never really sleeps
59. Being a parent makes you want to be a better person
60. Because the only way you can teach your child, is by demonstrating
61. Which means you have to be the person you want your child to become
62. I freaked out when my son first rolled out of bed when he was a few months old. Trust me I took all possible safety measures, but he fell. I cried more than he did
63. I soon realised falls, cuts, bruises, scars are all an integral part of childhood
64. They heal at a magically fast pace. They learn from them even faster
65. His nails definitely grow faster than mine 66. Every first called for a celebration. The first smile, the first tooth, the first time he crawled, the first word and so on
67. I went crazy when I realised he understood what I said
68. Babies can be quite entertaining. Especially when they begin to talk. I haven’t laughed as much as I have in the previous year
69. It takes me exactly double the time to get ready and leave the house with my baby. And sometimes it’s more than double
70. Inspite of that I can finish an assigned task in lesser time I could before. Only because I know I have to run to my baby
71. Babies deserve all the respect an adult does and there is no questioning that
72. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, but there are good parents. And I try to be one everyday hoping that’s perfect for my baby
73. For me to be a good parent, I have to be a happy and content human
74. I think my son is the smartest, cutest, most awesome boy in this whole wide world. Wait, do you think that way about your baby? I guess that is the way it’s meant to be
75. A baby has made me money-wise
76. I regret the money I spent on buying toys
77. Kids don’t really play with toys. The most entertaining “toys” are – kitchen utensils, boxes, slippers, keys and all things that aren’t really toys
78. There is no such thing as too much love
79. There is no other feeling in this world like being loved
80. Your baby will never love you as much as you love her. But I guess that is the law of nature
81. Kids are messy. Very messy. Very very messy.
82. But mess is good. It means the little explorer is at work. You eventually get use to the mess
83. Parenting teaches you to be patient. It can be a tough task master sometimes
84. The way I use google has changed. I can’t avoid googling baby related stuff, but can’t trust what I read either
85. Babywearing is a boon
86. Grandparents are awesome
87. Restaurants, malls, movie theatres and hotels with Baby care rooms deserve an applause
88. Raising a human or being a mom is noting, no where even close to what they show in movies or TV shows
89. Motherhood takes the word tired to a whole new level
90. People who wonder what SAHMs do all day, have no room in my life
91. It’s okay to not be okay. The sun does not shine bright on all days
92. Moms are amazing at adapting and multitasking
93. Whether I like a person or not has a lot to do with how much I think he/she likes my baby
94. I love my friends who are moms
95. I love my friends who understand why I don’t call them often, why I cant make it to lunch, or why it takes me days to reply to their text
96. Comparison is an enemy
97. There is no other wealth like good health
98. Families, the whole family I mean with uncles, aunts and everyone else included are the best people
99. It’s nto too hard to let it go. NO matter what it was, how much it hurt.
100. I can never teach my baby, how much he had taught me..
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